Film: The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) continues his quest to help The Dwarves get their homeland back from the fearsome Dragon Smaug in the second part of Peter Jackson’s trilogy.

Jackson’s face is the first on camera as he makes a fleeting appearance before we move on with the tale. Two thirds of the film is a chase movie with the evil Orcs on the trail of Bilbo and the gang who are helped this time out by Elves Legolas (Orlando Bloom) and Tauriel (Evangeline Lilly). There are some fantastic fight scenes as the Orcs catch up with their quarry several times prior to the film’s glorious climax in Smaug’s lair.

Voiced brilliantly by Benedict Cumberbatch (Star Trek: Into Darkness) Smaug is a wonderful addiction to this series and more than makes up for the absent Gollum. At no moment do you doubt the validity of a talking Dragon, such is the atmosphere created. The fire-breathing is fantastic too and the battle between Dwarves and Dragon is absolutely terrific.

I had my doubts about this but thankfully The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug exceeds expectations and leaves the viewer crying out for the final instalment.

Ric’s Rating: Essential.

Film: Conan The Barbarian

Jason Momoa attempts to emulate Big Arnie in this remake of the fondly remembered 1982 movie.

Young Conan (Leo Howard) witnesses the slaughter of his village and the murder of his Father (Ron Perlman) and vows vengeance against the perpetrators, led by Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang).

What should be a fun swords & sandals tale quickly becomes dull as Momoa makes for a plodding Conan, he doesn’t have the screen presence or charisma for such a big character. Leo Howard is much more believable as the ferocious younger version.

Also, Stephen Lang (great in Avatar) isn’t a convincing villain. He just looks like an old guy trying to mix it up with brutes half his age and the garb he dons for the finale transforms him into a crazy mash up of Medusa and Big Trouble In Little China’s Lo-Pan.

Ron Perlman (Hellboy, Sons Of Anarchy) gives the best performance but isn’t in the film long enough to have a major influence.

Just as with the recent Clash Of The Titans remake this one falls short which makes me think that these type of films are probably best suited to early 80s VHS, which some of us may look back on through rose tinted glasses.

Ric’s Rating: 42%

DVD: Wolf Hound

Wolf Hound: From The Family Of Grey Dogs is the full title of this Russian

fantasy epic which ticks all the right boxes.

After the slaughter of his tribe Wolf Hound vows revenge and we join him and Torn Wing (his pet Bat) on their quest.

This harks back to films like Conan The Barbarian and The Beastmaster and if you can see past the dodgy beards and over the top acting you are left with a satisfying old fashioned story of honour and revenge.

Wolf Hound makes friends and enemies along the way and they are all colourful characters but I can't help thinking some of the names (like Greedy) have been a little bit lost in translation although that's just a small complaint for a film that's big fun.

Ric's Rating: 74%

DVD: Valhalla Rising

We join One-Eye (Mads Mikkelsen) as he is being held captive (for an
unknown reason) and forced to compete in vicious fights to the death.

He soon escapes and joins a team of wandering fighters as they prepare to travel to Jerusalem.

Well that's it as far as the story goes I'm afraid because from that point onwards the film becomes an aimlessly wandering mess as the gang shore up on an unknown land and face an unknown foe while struggling to know who to trust. Wait a minute, I just made that sound good.

That's the trouble here, it should be good but the story goes nowhere through achingly long periods of complete silence. Mikkelsen himself does not utter a word throughout although the performance is still decent.

This movie was filmed in Scotland and has a mostly Scottish cast so maybe I just couldn't take a bunch of guys I'm more used to seeing in the likes of Taggart and River City (Scottish tv shows) seriously as mysterious warriors. A pity as I so wanted to like it.

It is beautifully shot, all the scenery looks great but being lucky enough to live in Scotland I have scenery every bit as striking five minutes walk from my house.

Ric's Rating: 39%

Film: Clash Of The Titans

Avatar's Sam Worthington heads the cast in this remake of the
fondly remembered 1981 movie of the same name.

The story has been dumbed down to a simple tale of revenge as Perseus (Worthington) sets about killing God of the underworld Hades (Ralph Finnes) after the death of his family.

Lots of battles with CGI monsters ensue including Medusa who isn't as scary as the 1981 version. Memories of Krull and The Beastmaster come flooding back and this is at times very enjoyable but severely lacks depth.

Worthington is completely miscast as the Greek hero. His Australian accent and GI Joe haircut are out of place and the fact that all around tower over him doesn't help. This is also a totally wooden performance lacking charisma, saved only by support from Liam Neeson, Liam Cunningham and Mads Mikkelsen.

Overall this is still a fun film but even a fleeting apearance by Bubo the mechanical owl from the original doesn't up the charm factor.

Ric's Rating: 58%