Film: Road To Paloma

Jason Momoa (Conan The Barbarian) makes his directorial debut in this off-beat road movie.

Momoa is Wolf, a native American on the run from the law after exacting revenge on those responsible for the death of his Mother.

Unfortunately we don’t see these events and the film concentrates on the relationship between Wolf and fellow traveller Cash as they embark on their journey. The casting of Momoa’s wife, eighties sex symbol Lisa Bonet, only seems to confirm this as somewhat self-indulgent as her character adds little to proceedings.

Watching this film I have learned that there may be nice scenery on The Road To Paloma but you’ll spend the entire journey waiting for something to happen.

Available on DVD and Blu-ray now.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy.

Film: Jupiter Ascending

An ordinary girl discovers she is the reincarnation of the Queen Of The Galaxy..or something.

Jupiter Jones is whisked into the middle of a war between siblings of an inter-galactic race vying for control of the Earth in this sci-fi adventure from Matrix directors the Wachowskis.

The nifty special effects and entertaining chase / fight scenes aren’t enough to save this from the incomprehensible story and even Channing Tatum’s flying boots grate after they save the day a few times.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy. 

Film: Starred Up

A troubled young man is transferred from juvenile detention to adult prison where he finds himself being shown the ropes by another inmate, who just happens to be his Father.

This UK prison drama was lauded by critics and even scooped a few awards but besides one or two decent performances this is pretty run of the mill stuff.

Attempts at rehabilitation consist of joining some sort of peer group where the members repeatedly vent their anger and then come out high-fiving each other as if to say prison life ain’t that bad.

More background on the main characters may have helped but what we are left with is a series of violent incidents leading to a pretty unsatisfactory conclusion.

Starred Up is available on all the usual formats now.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy.   

Book: The String Diaries by Stephen Lloyd Jones

Stephen Lloyd Jones’ debut novel is a tale of murder, revenge, love and erm Hungarian folklore. The Hozzsu Eletek are a rare breed of people. Blessed / cursed with exceptionally long life they also have the ability to replicate the appearance of any other person. One of their kind is a misguided young man who is eventually outcast and hunted by his own. Desperate and alone Jakab decides to dedicate his long life to tracking down and killing the descendants of those responsible for what he sees as a terrible humiliation and betrayal.

The book jumps between present day, the late seventies and the eighteen hundreds as we follow all the relevant participants in the story. We have a young Jakab, a university lecturer and his daughter Hannah, who along with her family provide the most exciting chapters of the book.

This is quite the epic tale and a bit of a challenge for someone used to regular crime fiction. The challenge was almost too much at times but that was down to the slow pace of some passages, not the quality of the writing, which is superior throughout.

The String Diaries is interesting and entertaining but lacks the tension required to compel the reader to continue with the next chapter, especially when it takes you away from the action.

Give it a try if you fancy something a bit different but be prepared to stretch your imagination.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy      

Film: Riddick

Vin Diesel returns as Richard B Riddick, the anti-hero from Pitch Black, in the third instalment of this sci-fi action series.

This time around we join Riddick on an unknown planet populated by various types of lethal creatures that see him as their prey. As the daily struggle for survival continues two rival sets of mercenaries turn up looking to claim the bounty for the notorious criminal, and it’s doubled if he’d dead.

Pitch Black was a fantastic film, a low budget but effects laden sci-fi adventure that gave Diesel the opportunity to be at his snarling best. The sequel, The Chronicles Of Riddick, was largely forgettable.

Unfortunately that is also the case here as Riddick sets about dispatching the mercenaries one by one without any great action scenes or real moments of tension. I also have little doubt that the budget for this film was substantially larger than that of the original but it manages to look much worse. The scenes involving the motorcycle/hovercrafts are reminiscent of old time films with actors sitting in cars while the same background is repeated again and again.

Riddick is available on DVD now but only die hard fans of the character will enjoy.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy. 

Film: Sightseers

A socially awkward couple head off on a caravan tour of England in this offbeat British black comedy from 2012.

Still grieving the loss of her pet dog, Tina (Alice Lowe) agrees to let new boyfriend Chris (Steve Oram) take her on a meticulously planned caravan holiday. The plans soon change when the duo encounter a number of other travellers with murderous consequences.

There are some moments of humour in this otherwise dreary tale which only springs to life with the odd explosion of violence or totally inappropriate comment. Unfortunately it falls into the trap of not being funny enough to be a good comedy or serious enough to make a decent crime ridden road trip romp.

Lowe and Oram are good enough to hold the viewers attention but even their best efforts can’t elevate this above mediocrity.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy. 

Film: Hamlet 2

Steve Coogan (Alan Partridge) is failed actor turned drama teacher Dana Marschz in this 2008 comedy.

When a group of delinquents join the class Marschz must use his awkward street-smarts to help the troubled youths express some creativity, but following a string of critically savaged plays the school decides to close the drama department leaving the teacher to ponder his (and his students’) future.

Is producing a sequel to one of the world’s best loved plays the answer?

American audiences unfamiliar with Coogan’s brand of humour didn’t take to this film but it isn’t as bad as you might expect. Marschz’s life is in tatters as his job and personal life fall apart and Coogan performs adequately in the role, even delivering some very funny physical comedy moments.

Elisabeth Shue (Cocktail, The Karate kid) pops up as a parody of herself and her inclusion also brings from the star-struck Marschz.

Unfortunately the films climax (the performance of Hamlet 2) detracts from the comedy on offer and contains very few laughs itself, ensuring that Coogan follows in the footsteps of British comedians such as Rik Mayall (Drop Dead Fred) and Lenny Henry (True Identity) who also have a Hollywood flop in their CVs.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy. 

Film: The Wolverine

News of a dying friend brings Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) to Tokyo and he is soon caught up in a tale of kidnap, murder and treachery.

During his pursuit of Yakuza thugs Wolverine is injured and inexplicably his healing powers do not seem to be working. Hurt and confused he must rely on fighting skills alone to get to the bottom of things and rescue the girl.

Based on a popular graphic novel this feels rather hurried to me. There is little time to get to know any of the new characters and the confusing timeline created by the many X Men sequels, prequels and spin-offs doesn’t help either.

Jackman (as always) is excellent as the snarling hero but the other performances and characters on show bring little to the table. The poisonous Viper just isn’t in the same league as Magneto or even Mystique and I’m fast becoming very tired of huge fighting robots.

This one is for Marvel / XMen / Wolverine fanatics only.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy.   

Film: Movie 43

Three teenagers trawl the internet for the elusive Movie 43 and in the process discover a plethora of weird videos.

The film takes place entirely in the boys bedroom with all the videos featured being viewed on-line. The sketches include Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman on a blind date, a young couple attempting to share a “special” moment and Halle Berry and Stephen Merchant playing a game of Truth or Dare that knows no bounds.

Despite boasting a star-studded cast this was universally panned on its release and it’s easy to see why. Most of the jokes are either in bad taste or very offensive but what has to be pointed out is…….some of them are funny.

I won’t spoil what the sketches are about but the word “gross” just doesn't seem to cut it here. There were quite a few times when I was either uncomfortable or about to switch off but then something pretty funny would happen to ease the tension.

Movie 43 is definitely not for everyone but if you can imagine some of the funny but borderline sick videos available on-line then you should be able to handle it.

Available on DVD and Blu-ray now.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy       

Film: Sacrifice

A ruling Chinese dynasty is overthrown and all family members are slain but unbeknown to the new tyrant a newborn baby boy is smuggled to safety.

The young heir is raised by a man who sacrificed his own son to save him and soon begins to learn the ways of a warrior. Eventually he will attempt to reclaim his kingdom.

This Chinese historical epic has some fantastic battle scenes, especially the opening one, but they are too few and far between to maintain the excitement.

The youngster also seems to remain a baby for far too long and there are endless flashbacks to the events leading to his escape.

Sacrifice looks fantastic but it’s aimed so much at the Chinese market that it lacks broad appeal, although fans of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and House Of Flying Daggers may enjoy.

Sacrifice is available on DVD in the UK now.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy.    

Film: Dead Mine

The Descent meets Outpost as a team of explorers are trapped in an abandoned mine.

Unused since World War II the mine reportedly contains a vast amount of lost gold but it also harbours some very strange inhabitants.

 Looking like a cross between Gollum and The Walking Dead the bad guys finally appear after almost 45 minutes. The surprisingly strong and agile underground dwellers are actually prisoners of war who have been experimented on.

Then their captors also appear!

Led by an unintentionally hilarious (and weirdly preserved) Japanese soldier who thinks the war is still going on these guys soon join in the game of hunting down our intrepid team.

Dead Mine does provide a few laughs and turns out to be quite good fun in the end, although I suspect my reaction to it isn’t the intended one.

Available on DVD in the UK now.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy.   

Film: Frozen Silence

An army detective hunts for a serial killer who easily hides during the carnage of World War II.

This Spanish film is set within a team of soldiers who are sent to help Germany fight against the Russian army.

It opens with a beautifully shot scene showing a frozen wasteland littered with the remains of both humans and horses. It is among these bodies that the first victim is found.

This wisely doesn’t get too bogged down in the politics of its setting and I wouldn’t consider this a war film as such. It is a detective drama set amongst war.

Unfortunately the initial promise isn’t built on and the investigation becomes somewhat stale. Maybe a few more war type battle scenes would have livened things up!

Frozen Silence looks fantastic but the story doesn’t match up to the cinematography. It’s available on DVD in the UK now.

Ric's Rating: Dodgy

Film: Come Out And Play

A newlywed American couple visit a remote Mexican island but soon realise that something isn’t quite right.

There seems to be hardly any people on the island and almost all of the ones they see are children. It turns out that the island’s children have succumb to some sort of madness which makes them attack adults, with deadly results.

Our couple are soon fleeing for their lives from the nasty and violent gang.

What’s worse than a scary kid film? A film with a whole bunch of scary kids.

At times this is really unintentionally funny as the little boys and girls attempt to look menacing. There are some shocking scenes of violence but that’s mostly when the hero decides to fight back, overall this is just silly.

Come Out And Play is available on DVD in the UK from 6^th May 2013.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy.  

Film: Oblivion

Earth has been devastated. An alien invasion provoked a nuclear response and what’s left of the human race has left to inhabit a far off Moon.

Jack Harper (Tom Cruise) and his wife (Andrea Riseborough) are stationed on Earth to maintain the drones which constantly patrol and eliminate any remnants of the alien army.

As their mission is due for completion Harper begins to realise that there may be more going on than meets the eye.

Oblivion looks fantastic, the scenes of once great cities and structures now ruined and covered in grass and new flowing rivers create an atmosphere which quickly draws the viewer in.

Unfortunately the story is all too predictable and the promised action scenes fail to materialize.

Cruise looks like he’d rather be anywhere else and the feeling soon rubs off onto the audience with the belated introduction of Morgan Freeman adding little to proceedings.

With the imminent release of the new Star Trek film the studio have wisely decided not to compete as this most definitely isn’t the action-fest it’s marketed as. It’s a mish-mash of films like Armageddon, The Matrix and They Live that doesn’t capture the best parts of any of those movies.

Oblivion is in UK cinemas now.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy.       

TV DVD: Top 100 Raw Moments

Here we have another 3 disc collection from World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). This time it’s the top 100 moments from their long-running tv show Monday Night Raw.

Discs 1 & 2 feature the countdown from 100 to 1 which includes classic moments such as:

Ric Flair’s retirement.

DX imitating Shane & Vince McMahon

Vince’s “Bret screwed Bret” interview.

And.....The 123 Kid beating Razor Ramon.

These will appeal to WWE fans old & new but this set features lots of moments covered better in The Attitude Era set (see review below) and does feature lots of relatively recent moments. I mean who can really agree that Santino Marella’s comedy tea party should be included?

Disc 3 is the 1000^th episode of Raw with a “making of” thrown in.

This is decent enough but the fans that this will appeal to will enjoy The Attitude Era much more.

Available now in the UK.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy. 

Film: Kill List

After a slow start this 2011 tale of two hitmen really kicks off and there is more going on than meets the eye.

Jay (Neil Maskell) is troubled by past events and the current “kill list” that him and Gal (Michael Smiley) are working on only makes his mental state all the more fragile.

As the duo encounter and eliminate some despicable individuals it leads them to encounter a strange cult who may have been watching them for some time.

This could have been fantastic, Maskell and Smiley are brilliant as the violent assassins who also display their human side.

Unfortunately it all descends into a Wicker Man rip-off which was totally unnecessary spoiling what has gone before.

Writer / Director Ben Wheatley has a film in UK cinemas at the moment (Sightseers) which looks interesting. 

Lets hope he doesn’t go down a similar road.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy.   

Film: Nativity 2: Danger In The Manger

With Martin Freeman away being Bilbo Baggins it’s up to new teacher David Tennant (Fright Night) to take over the unruly schoolchildren of St Bernadette’s and lead them to Wales, where they will compete in the TV competition A Song For Christmas.

Marc Wootton returns as the zany Mr Poppy, as does the majority of the original cast, including most of the children. Tennant, while adequate in his dual roles, is never as likable as Freeman was and his dysfunctional family storyline fails to engage.

This is ok for kids but lacks the charm of the original making it a rather mundane affair.

Nativity 2: Danger In The Manger is in UK cinemas now.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy           

Film: Baghead

Four struggling actors decide to take a trip to an isolated cabin in an attempt to get their creative juices flowing.

Eventually they come up with the idea to make a movie about a killer roaming the woods with, you guessed it, a bag over his head but the fictional character soon appears leaving the group terrified and fighting for their lives.

This low budget effort from 2008 does manage to crank up the tension but it takes too long to get there and ultimately delivers an ending that was easy to figure out.

Undemanding fun that will appeal to fans of The Blair Witch Project.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy

Film: Sinister

A struggling true crime writer moves his family into the house that previously belonged to the family that he is writing about. They were found hanged in the back garden...and their young daughter is missing.

Billed as a “terrifying horror” this actually begins an interesting murder investigation story. Ethan Hawke (Training Day) is fine as the desperate author striving for success and much of the film relies heavily on his portrayal of a man absorbed into something darker than he imagined.

Unfortunately what could have been a fantastic serial-killer movie becomes a silly story of Ghouls and the occult which goes on to present the most hackneyed character in horror films of recent years, the scary kid.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy   

Film: The Bourne Legacy

Jeremy Renner (The Town, Avengers) takes over from Matt Damon in this mediocre continuation of the franchise.

Renner is Aaron Cross, an agent trained in the same programme as Bourne but when the powers-that-be decide to shut down the programme Cross finds himself being hunted by the very agency that trained him.

The sporadic bursts of action save this film from being completely boring. The plot is made several layers more complex than necessary and the constant “incident room in state of emergency” scenes soon become tiresome.

Even Edward Norton (American History X, The 25^th Hour) as the shadowy authority figure adds little to this and if it wasn’t for a reasonably exciting final half hour this would be getting an even lower rating.

The Bourne Legacy is in UK cinemas now.

Ric’s Rating: Dodgy.